This is the second part about an article I read about 18 consequences of High Functioning Anxiety.
7. It is your fault – We have all felt this. No matter whose fault it was in our heads it is all our fault. ‘I messed up again’ “If I had not done that this wouldn’t have happened’. We blame ourselves for everything even if other people don’t. Honest mistakes happen, but not when you have anxiety.
8. You constantly compare yourself to others – OMG, I do this so much. It feels like I do this all day long. I want to tell my inner voice to shut the hell up. My self-esteem being so low can be blamed on my anxiety. When you constantly compare yourself to others you will always fall short in your own mind.
9. You over think the small things – In my mind there are no small things. I just the other night laid awake worrying about what sleep pants to bring for my sleep lab. I picked the perfect ones if you were wondering. I sat in my car last night thinking my appointment is at 7:30 is it alright if I ring the buzzer at 7:25. The paper said I could bring my own pillow, but are they going to think I weird that I brought a pillow. Now I will say the strange shit running through my mind the past few days did distract me from thinking about someone watching me sleep for a short period.
10. You obsess over every mistake – I don’t know if you do this or not, but I will randomly think of something I did in the past and just pick up where I left off punishing myself. Stuff will just pop up. Even stuff from when I was a kid and will feel as guilty as the day it happened. Sometimes to the point where I feel sick to my stomach.
11. Conversations don’t end when people stop speaking – Perfect example last Tuesday. My coworker and I met with our bosses to talk about working be as a team. That conversation has been going on in my head for 7 days. Every time I look at her or my boss. What I should have said or shouldn’t have said. Did I sound like a bitch? Did I make myself clear on what I was trying to say?
12. You find it hard to interact in person – I will say I am that awkward person in group settings that is standing by herself. That being said I would rather talk to a person to their face then on the phone. For me the phone is way worse and I don’t know why.
13. You find it hard to concentrate – When I was a kid I was told I had learning disabilities. I think they were right, but after reading this article I think some of it was anxiety related. They gave me longer test times and I knew the answers, but I still failed. My Dad never understood why when he asked me the same questions at home I got them all right. I always tried to explain to them that it was the pressure of taking the test. Now I think what I was trying to say was that it was my anxiety about taking the test. Studying didn’t do any good if I was too anxious to absorb the information.
14. Your digestion suffers – I never put 2 and 2 together before reading this. When I go out to eat my stomach gets upset. I end up in the bathroom. But if I eat that same food at home I am just find. I always say restaurant food makes my stomach upset. No eating out and having anxiety makes my stomach upset. I also get really bad heartburn and reflux from foods that shouldn’t cause it.
15. You aches, repetitive habits, and tics – I play with my hair and jewelry. I wear rings just so I can distract my inner worries. I will twist them around my fingers. My hair is up most of the time because I will constantly touch it if I don’t. If I wear my glasses instead of contacts I spend a whole conversation with someone adjusting them.
16. It may affect your heart health – See the article down below. You will find this interesting.
17. You see the world differently – This has a lot more to do with people who have anxiety from a traumatic experience. Like my fear of driving after I got T-boned in to a light pole. I now overreact to small things while driving. Even causing panic attacks that cause other accidents.
18. You just can’t stop it – No matter how many times people tell to stop worrying about it. Or it’s not that big a deal, I CAN’T STOP IT! That is not how my brain works. I’m so glad your brain doesn’t drive you crazy over stupid shit, but mine does. Telling me not to do it isn’t going to make it stop. I would love to be able to do things with losing sleep over them. Or making myself throw up. In a past blog I talked about the just do it people.